16. What Are the Terrible Twos

9/18/2020

Are you wondering why and how to discipline your toddler when he/she throwing tantrums? Is your toddler change the mood in one minute from happy and loving to screaming, crying, and miserable? Are you frustrating on your toddler says “no” all day long? Today we are going to talk about what is terrible twos and how to deal with it positively.

The terrible twos is a normal developmental phase experienced rapid shifts in a child’s mood and behaviors, like tantrums, defiant behavior, and lots of frustrations. The terrible twos generally between 1-3 years of age. Toddlers are experiencing major physical, cognitive, social, and emotional changes. They are struggling with their reliance on their parents and their desire for independence. They’re eager to do things on their own, but they’re beginning to discover that they’re expected to follow certain rules.

During this time, expect that you and your child will occasionally lose patience with each other. Try to stay calm. When your child begins to get worked up. I don’t recommend parents to distract their attention or completely ignores them. It might solve the problem at that moment, but the behavior will continually come back. The best way is to be there with your child, describe what they are feeling, and provide a solution calmly like “ I see you are feeling sad because daddy moved you away from the kitchen, it’s ok to feel sad. But it’s not safe to stay in their right now, but you can go to your kitchen and make some soup with daddy.” It can help your child to calm down and also understand what their feeling is about. Also, when your child starts throwing tantrums, crying, and yelling. You can tell them “I see you are not feeling happy, but I can’t understand what you want, can you use your words to tell me?” it will teach your child to use proper language to communicate instead of yelling. However, if your child is having a really bad day and keep going, you can tell them “I see you are really sad right now, you want to cry it out, mommy will be here when you are ready to give me a hug.” And be with your child calmly.

Do you know why your toddler says a lots “no”, that’s because they have too many choices. I recommend parents always offer limited choices to your toddler. Rather than asking them what he/she wants for a snack, for example, ask if the child would like a slice of bread or a couple piece of crackers. This gives the child a sense of control, because of the ability to choose without overwhelming the child with too many choices.

Last but not least, by accepting the changes your child is going through and showing him/her love and respect, you will help your child make it through this difficult stage with confidence.

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