25, Children’s Imaginary Friends: Why and How

2/19/2021

Have you ever heard your children talking about a friend invisible? Do your children deny “the friend” when they grow up? Did you ever have an imaginary friend when you were little? Today we are going to talk about the “imaginary friends”.

Imaginary friends are pretending friends that your children make up in their imagination. Imaginary friends come in all shapes and sizes. They can be based on someone your child already knows, like a storybook character, or they can come purely from your children’s imagination. The imaginary friend could be someone who listens to and supports your children, someone who plays with your children, and who can do things that your children can’t do.

Mostly, imaginary friends are harmless to your children. “Imaginary friends” is a common and normal manifestation for many children across many stages of development. A study has shown that as many as 65% of children have had an imaginary friend by the age of 7. Children as young as 2 and half years may have imaginary friends. Some middle-school-age students still have imaginary friends.

Most children are aware that their imaginary friends are not real. Imaginary friends will not be around forever, they are most likely to be around for several months, but they could be a feature of your child’s life for up to a couple of years. Some parents worry that imaginary friends may lead to the children’s lack of social skills and potential peer abuse. However, the study has shown that children with imaginary friends are less shy and have more friends than their peers.

Children with imaginary friends tend to be more creative and socially advanced. They use a more complex sentence structure, richer vocabulary, think abstractly, and have better social skills. Also, because of the imaginary friends, the child gets to imagine the discussion from both sides, which helps build perspective, understand the emotions of another person, and develop their sense of empathy. It is essential that parents talk to their children about the imaginary friends frequently, and pay close attention to any potential changes in their behaviors, so as to evaluate those changes being positive or negative.

Under some circumstances, you need to “intervene”, for instance, some children blame the imaginary friends for their misbehaviors. They should be taught to take responsibility for their own business. For very few children, imaginary friends can be a symptom of other issues, for example, the imaginary friend turns scary. You should consult the doctor or other health professional.

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